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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ghost Cat's LiveJournal:

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Monday, May 1st, 2006
9:43 am
Might as well do this...
This is a public entry!

However, most of my other entries aren't, as this journal has gone to friends-only, mostly by default; nothing I write is really of much interest to people who don't know me anyhow. If you want to be added, though, comment here!
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
9:42 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIE!!!!!!!
You just get even more awesome every year. I am so happy to know you.

love, me
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
7:28 am
secret message for the terrorists
STOP FUCKING BOMBING US YOU STUPID CUNTS
Monday, July 18th, 2005
8:36 am
A message for susanjacobson and amaliestar
Got this call for papers in my inbox today (I'm on the UPenn CFP mailing list; comment or email if you're interested in how to get onto it) and thought you two might be interested:

Society for Cinema and Media Studies
March 2-5, 2006
Vancouver, Canada
http://www.cmstudies.org/conference_index.html

The SCMS Caucus on Class ( http://terri1.home.mindspring.com ) is
sponsoring the following call for papers. Please send 150-word proposal, plus
brief bibliography and bio statement, by August 20, 2005.

"The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Cell Phone:
Recent Chinese Cinema and the Socialist-Capitalist Tradition"
The Chinese transition from a socialist to a market economy has
effected rapid changes in the country in the last 20 years and exacerbated
contradictions that were already pronounced in the Chinese system.
This panel examines the ways in which Chinese filmmakers have mapped those
contradictions in the last decade as they comment wryly on the process
of directly overlaying a socialist propaganda model with a market
propaganda model. The panel would look at how filmmakers are addressing these
contradictions both in documentary and fiction films, as in the fiction
work of filmmakers such as Jia Zhangke (The World) and the documentary work
of Wang Bing, whose 14-hour chronicle of the transformation of a Chinese
town, West of the Rails, reworks the concept of documentary.
CONTACT: Pat Keeton - pkeeton@ramapo.edu
Thursday, July 7th, 2005
6:32 am
WE'RE OKAY.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4659093.stm

Neither Tim nor I were hurt in the London terrorist attacks today. He missed the Kings Cross explosions by about 15 minutes, and was already at work when they happened. I am thanking myself for being a slacker, because if I'd tried to go to the library, I'd have been caught in the explosion at Euston.

Hope everyone else in London is okay.
Monday, June 27th, 2005
3:00 pm
You know you want to go to http://www.notquitewrong.com/
I'm still working on the China update. I promise, though, it'll be here soon...

In the meantime, go check out my friend Ross's new webcomic http://www.notquitewrong.com/. I giggled through the whole morning.
Friday, June 3rd, 2005
4:05 am
A reminder to myself.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve this world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.


-Nelson Mandela
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
4:59 am
hay guys what's going on in this CHINA
I just booked my ticket to Beijing for June 5, arriving June 6. The conference starts on June 7, but I wanted to get in with plenty of time to spare in order to minimise jet lag and to give myself a chance to sightsee a little bit.

It's actually terrifying to go without Tim... at least when we went to Japan together, I had someone else who spoke my language (okay, I speak Mandarin better than I speak Japanese, but it's still pretty piss-poor). Plus, I'll be away from him for like ten days, when I haven't spent more than two nights apart from him total since last June. And he's a big brawny sexy tall man, and I'm just a short, fairly small girl. But I'm sure I'll be all right. This will be liberating for me!

Now I've just got to book my hotel and...er... my flight home. I'm leaving from Shanghai, you see, since that's where the second part of the conference is. And I guess I'd better book my ticket from Bejing to Shanghai, too... yikes!

Here's hoping I end up getting that grant...
Monday, May 9th, 2005
4:33 am
i am posting on the internet
Someone ELSE'S internet, I might add... someone bought a wireless router with the same IP address as ours and it's knocked ours offline, so I'm just taking a ride on theirs! Haha!

Use (wireless) protection, kids.

My new iPod Mini kicks all sorts of ass. It's little and green and cute and I love it.

Today I am sending in my acceptance of my (unconditional!) offer of a place at Royal Holloway. Me? a PhD? yikes.

I should be doing schoolwork, and I will, this afternoon. British Library ahoy!
Friday, April 29th, 2005
7:17 am
Wow, another rejection letter.

That's, what, three in a row? At least two, I know. Were all my many acceptances in a row a while back just a fluke, then? Or am I just having a bad run of luck (one that is actually pretty normal, if you hear most writers tell it)?

Writers? Have you ever had two or three rejections in a row? Or am I a complete talentless hack?
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
9:05 am
I hate being sick. :(
I went to the gym today after sticking some Otrivin up my nose, but could only get about a half hour into my cardio routine before my chest hurt and my throat hurt and my nose started to get all stuffy again. Working out with a cold = le suck. I did lots of weights, though; my arms are thanking me. And by thanking I mean screaming in pain. But the good kind of pain.

My mother in law gave me a big hollow chocolate Easter egg from Thorntons, of which I have eaten more than half already. It seems that my dislike of chocolate, brought on by working at a chocolate store several years ago, has finally worn off. Bugger.

OK, I'll admit it, I've eaten way more than half. I just ate the last bit before I typed this sentence. Double bugger. Back to the gym for me...
Saturday, March 26th, 2005
5:37 pm
The good, the bad and the gross
the good: I managed to successfully cook a roast dinner tonight. :) We had my friend Heather over (she's actually the girlfriend of one of my classmates and is AWESOME) and I had promised her Jewish food. Unfortunately, Friday was Purim and today was Shabbat so all the kosher butchers were closed and I couldn't get a brisket, but I made matzoh ball soup as a starter and then a rump roast with roast potatoes and steamed fine beans as a main course. It tasted fucking delicious. I'm turning into a fairly good cook. Of simple stuff, anyway.

the bad: I couldn't get to the gym today, because...

the gross: I have a really bad cold that snuck up on me the other night and hasn't fucking let go. I'm sneezing, coughing, I have runny eyes and a runny nose and blocked ears and I just feel awful. I've doped myself up with like three different kinds of medicine, so I'm not incapacitated, but I laid in bed all morning while Tim took good care of me and I sniffled and was miserable. Thank goodness for Lockets, Chloraseptic and Benylin!

Secret message to outcastspice: CONGRATS ON YOUR PAPER!!! I'm so glad it went so well! You need to give me tips for my conference in June!
Thursday, March 24th, 2005
5:57 am
:(
My right foot is flat. The reason I know this is because I fucking SPRAINED it from running too much in trainers that were cheap and gave no foot support. I've now invested in new excellent supportive Asics, but I can't run for another couple of weeks until the sprain is healed up. Fuck, I don't want to spend my whole time at the gym on the stationary bike and the stairstepper. I hate the stairstepper. :( Oh well, no pain no gain!

I'm also getting a cold, as evidenced by the fact that my throat hates me at the moment. It always happens like this: I have a killer sore throat for a day or two, which subsides in favour of a stuffy nose and blocked ears. To be honest, I'd prefer the stuffiness. I hate having a sore throat.

OK, enough whining. I must be off to the gym!

P.S. geckolio, I hope your leg feels better soon.
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
5:58 pm
I am awesome.
Just got another acceptance letter for a poem, another paid publication. This is, what, #5 in the past two months? The money is just a small honorarium, really (and sometimes comes in odd forms - one mag, for instance, paid me in the form of a gift certificate to Amazon [I'm glad you ordered the book, Trace, I hope it helps!]) but it's something, you know? At the very least, it helps me break even on postage for submissions that I send through the mail.

But yeah, this poem was accepted to a really tough market, which apparently accepts less than 5% of submissions, so I'm well pleased. :) In my admittedly small field (speculative poetry), it's the longest-running publication and one of the most respected. I'm really happy about it.

Unfortuately, that happiness is somewhat mitigated by the fact that I had KFC for dinner tonight and therefore have probably forfeited any weight loss for this week. I've been awesome about gym attendance, though, which is far more important, so whatever!
Thursday, March 10th, 2005
8:26 am
Had a nice hour-long workout this morning - I'm always surprised at how damn good I feel once I'm finished exercising. It's such an awesome feeling. And now I'm late for class, woohoo! Oh well. I havent been able to find the text for today, so I haven't read it, but I'll go anyway to take notes.

Last night a bunch of went to see/hear Graham Swift read from his new book. I bought a copy, of course. I can never resist the lure of signed books. Or any books, really. We finished off the evening with a visit to Preem, my and Tim's favourite curry house on Brick Lane. Tonight I'm off to a poetry reading curated by my friend Todd. I think my brain is going to explode from all this culture.

These organic fruit/seed/nut bars are incredible. I think I need another!
Sunday, February 27th, 2005
3:12 pm
cleaning house
I was going through my poetry this evening and realized that almost all of my good poems have been accepted to different places. Which means I have to write some more good ones. I'll get on that tomorrow.

I feel good about my writing right now, though, because I just finished a most excellent short story - it's gone through several drafts but I think I'm finally finished - and I sent off two more submission letters today, for the few good poems I've got that are still available.

I also found a letter I wrote to an advice column, but never sent, about my ex-boyfriend Laurent, the abusive one. I wrote it when I was 18. Reading it chilled me. It's such classic emotional abuse. Whew... dodged that bullet.

Tim is playing Dawn of War and has been all day. I've got a headache because I drank way, way, way too much coffee this morning and proceeded to feel for most of the day like I'd taken speed. I know my body is sensitive to any and all drug-like substances, but this is fucking ridiculous. It's CAFFIENE. I also ate one too many slices of the delicious, delicious cake that my mother-in-law brought over for lunch today, so my stomach's not too happy. It was a nice visit, though.

God, I am going stir-crazy sitting in this apartment. Anyone want to go for a drink or something?
Friday, February 25th, 2005
4:03 pm
Josh, Tracy, Andie and Madeleine, I love all of you guys. And as an extra-special development, I may be in Texas in September for nattierae's wedding! So I fully expect Tim and I to be taken drinking by you, Andie. (Hooray for massive passive voice!) <- (Hooray for random rhyme!)<- (Hooray for alliteration!)

As of this past Monday, I've been on a modified version of Weight Watchers, and as of tomorrow Tim and I are members of the gym up the road. I'm not overweight, but I'd like to tone up and trim down some, so instead of doing it with weight loss in mind, I'm doing it to get in shape. The Weight Watchers bit is just because their system is a ood way to keep track of what you put in your mouth. I've been pretty successful so far in eating my 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day, and I can already sense how much more energy I have and how much better my body feels. There's really something to be said for cutting out processed food and just eating fresh fruits and veggies and protein, like chicken breasts. Though it does mean that I have to do the cooking every night, but I don't mind. I actually quite like it.

Man, if I wrote like this in my stories and poems, I'd never get anything published. Maybe all the creative juices are gone by the time I get to typing this?
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
4:08 pm
epiphany
I have determined that I am not "cool."

I was never in the "cool" crowd in school. (Okay, I was during senior year of high school and freshman year of university, but that had more to do with being blonde and attractive than anything, and it sucked and I didn't like it and I stopped hanging out with said crowd after that.)

I don't like "cool" things. I'd rather listen to classical music or jazz than anything on the radio. I'm currently reading "Wuthering Heights" for leisure. I read and publish poetry. I don't like dance clubs because they give me a headache. Half the time, I'd rather read or do something on my own than be social. I don't drink because it makes my stomach hurt, and I don't smoke cigarettes. I haven't found a hookup for weed here in London, so I don't do that either, and when I do, I'd usually rather space out and listen to music and write than hang out with anyone. I have no talent for colour-matching or fashion, really, especially since my body isn't the societal 12-year-old-boy norm... no one likes boobs and hips anymore. And even if they did, I still wouldn't be able to dress more complexly than my current preppy look. I'm so into my jeans-or-khakis-or-black-pants-and-a-nice-shirt look that even my goddamn City of Heroes character wears jeans.

I like solitude. I get intimidated by groups of people my own age; I prefer adults. When I do hang out with people, I'd rather sit in a pub with my school friends talking about systems of government than go out and dance or get drunk or do stupid shit. I don't like doing stupid shit, never have. I'm really quite a goody-goody.

This isn't a bitch, really. Nor is it even necessarily negative. It's just a realization: according to the terms of Western society today, I am not cool.

And I think I'm okay with that.
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
11:54 am
In the last month, I've had four acceptances for poems I've sent out to editors. And no rejections.

Does this mean I should be a poet? :)
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
11:05 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (yesterday) NATTIE!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Yay for quarter-centuries!

I'd write more but I'm at work, but HAPPY BDAY!!!
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